Disconnections

When will it ever end???
How is it I could empty an entire museum gallery in 5 hours, including a REED ORGAN, grinding wheel, and map cabinet, all by myself, and it has already taken me 3 days now to start moving things back??? Maybe because I am cleaning things as I go-- and discovering more things in storage? So far I've only emptied 4-5 boxes of stuff. Tomorrow, the big pieces will get moved back. Packing is easy....comedy is hard.

ZOUNDS-- can't believe we have to go BACK to the studio Monday for VOs. Last week we had to re-shoot the intro, which carcks me up, as I have colored my hair in the interim. So for the opening shot I am a burnette, and the rest of the time it'll be white! (obviously I had quite a bad scare along the way.

Sent a note off to Richard on the 4th, and was surprised to find a letter from him in the mailbox today, written the 8th. But oddly enough it was written before he got my letter, and spent half the thing asking me why I haven't written, he was worried, hoped I was okay, and 'drop me a note or give me a call' with # provided and DAMN I didn't phone because I know by now my letter MUST have arrived and it woulda been too obvious, calling just to use the number!! And what was also weird is that I always know when he's got a letter on the way to me, even when one isn't due. But to say the least, I was touched by the sentiment. ('nothing's wrong, Richard, I've just been a REAL SLUG about writing!') And also a slug about painting for him....

I am pleased and thrilled with myself that I have 'ressurrected' Unburied Dead (my MS in progress) I had hit a major snag, ended up getting one of my main characters in a bind (hell, I ddn't do it, SHE did!) and spent the last almost 2 years considering rewriting about 10 chapters to undo the damage, but sat down a few weeks ago, and it started rolling again-- slowly-- and now it's up to about 20 pages a day. AND it's actually careening toward the end-- which is going to be pretty messy just by necessity. I'm psyched and really looking forward to having it done and actually in shape for a publisher-- wow, and within my lifetime, too.

In fact, I think I'll go work on it right now, since I just don't have the energy to paint!!

How is it possible that any of the local (insert snide descriptive) PUSSIBLY have any fireworks left after last night??? I thought fireworks were illegal-- and not a cop cruiser all night. Practically every 3rd house on my block was bombarding the neighborhood!! Sure, a few were pretty-- but that's not the point. Dad was trying to sleep before the midnight shift, and one of my birds (a cripple) wedged himself under a piece of furniture in a panic. He was panting and I had to wrap him in a towel and calm him down hald the night. I remember many of my dogs used to freak out on the 4th-- but last night was THE WORST it's ever been. Glad that's over for another year!!
Wow, I hardly ever visit LJ anymore-- curse you, FaceBook!! Maybe I should check and see how many 'friends' here are still posting! In the News: I've been appointed interim curator at the museum, since Dave resigned. The witches and bitches on the Board drove him to it, and he's thinking of returning to school. Meanwhile, the witless wonders who make the rules and have NO interest in history have decided to cut the hours down by 2 days. INSANE!! It's SUMMER, people-- when we get the most visitation! Anyway, I have weekends now until the end of August and they are supposedly looking for Dave's replacement. They COULD hire me, as I have more qualifications than Dave did, but I am being discriminated against because I'm Dave;s friend. I wish these old farts would just hurry up and DIE! (did I say that outloud?) or at least find another organization that they have an interest in!!
Still no wheels, but a rental this weekend-- wheee! Sales are about the same on eBay-- I'm just slow getting things listed for now. FINALLY got a letter off to Richard, and sent him Dave's drink recipe. For Richard's birthday, and his 'bartender Dave's corner' on the radio show, Dave created a drink called the Richard O'Brien. A pink martini with Goldschlager in it (so little gold flecks float down through the rosy vodka as you drink). Recipe can be found here http://www.queerspiritradio.com/queerspiritradio2005_004.htm
The TV show filming is ALMOST done-- we go to the studio this week to see the 'rushes' (dailies?) and do the last voice overs, then Thursday reshoot the opening/intro sequence. THIS outta be a laugh! I've colored my hair since May and it's not like no one's going notice the difference between the intro and the 'on the road' segments!
Okay, had some good sales last couple of days so I need to wrap stuff to mail-- but first i think I'll paint a little more. Until next time-- whenever THAT is!

A world without wheels-- car's still not on the road-- got wod today that I can have the engines replaced for a grand. That's actually a good deal, as it includes the replacement engine. Dave is within about 24 hours of resigning his curator job. Yup. Don't believe it and wish he wouldn't BUT he's totally fed up with the drama, the harpies, and the abuse. Frankly, I think he coulda made the position a stepping stone to better things if he just played ball at least a little with the Board. Alas, meetings have degenerated into confrontations, arguments and verbal abuse, and he's decided he's DONE. The 3 years he's been curator he has done more good for the museum abd historical society than they've managed in the previous 40 years. Most of the volunteers who have gotten involved during that time have become friends and have already started bailing out-- There is a possibility that I will be offered the job, though for budget reasons they plan to cut the hours down. No lie, I would take it for the sake of the museum and volunteers and of course the money. I have yet to be offered the job this time around-- last year it was brought up but because I spoke out on a few occasions and made the Board uncomfortable, they've been offering the post to everyone else who have been turning it down!! But it ain't over til the fat lady sings...

Yesterday Alycia and I took a drive around, locating some old homesteads that appear on the township 1870s map. She remembered one old place from her childhood nd we took a dead-end back road to find it. When we did-- it was burnt to the ground and the WEIRDEST thin was, it had just burnt down 3 days earlier!!! A house that stood for 200 years and it's gone within a few days of our rediscovery.

Heard from Richard last week, even though it was my turn to write! Now I owe him 2 letters but DAMN ME, I had a feeling the other day that he was sending me a letter, How strabge! Another weird world incident. He's going to be very busy in the next several months.

Dangerous Ink Magazine requested some art from me to go along with the issue his interview will be in, but I have yet to respond-- I am such a slug. I'm helping Celeste with selling her hats and bonnets on eBay-- hopefully she'll do well. and there's a Friend's meeting tonight at the museum which ought to be interesting....

Chell had lunch with Pat Quinn last week and I am SO PSYCHED to hear how it went! She's coming home after months in Europe in June, what a rush. Sales slow on eBay, but I haven't posted paintings in a few weeks. Other stuff sells in dribs and drabs.

A group of us are organizing a 'Friends of the Lambertson FArm' non-profit, in order te reclaim and restore the 1840s farmhouse that's been standing empty too long. Wish us luck! Meanwhile Mrs. Norris, our gi-huge-ic red eared slider has been relocated-- the harpies again who evicted Danny the parrot a few months back-- But Mrs. Norris is now quite happy in her new home, with my wonderful neighbor Jean!

Lots about to change with the museum, and have been doing alot of writing and rewriting some of my old MSs. Also, have completed a FAB script for the TV14 history tour show Dave and I have been filming-- hopefully wrapping it up next week. The directors/producers/crew seem to love the script, every time I hand them a new show-- which makes me very happy, despite the fact I generally sit down the night before and bang in out in less than 2 hours.

Meanwhile, Dave has just been offered the role as host for a new series, which he is quite excited about. I deliberately kept out of that one! No desire to be a TV star! JUST GIVE ME MONEY!

I spend too much time on FaceBook, though I do not take the quizzes, join the groups, or post the photos. At least two 'women' who have friended me are a bit....pathetic! They post endless photos of themselves in underwear-- always fishing for compliments with the boys and getting them. One woman seems to be puckering her lips in every pic and God help be it just reminds me of my cat's BUTT! She, and some of her friends not only take EVERY quiz out there but also come up with quizes and polls about each other, 'Do you think Yadda yadda is pretty?', 'Do you like so-and-so's eyes?' OH PULEEZE!! Maybe it's me, but I'd rather use FB to check in with friends now and then! And I haven't been to MySpace in ages....or LJ, I guess!

Okay, enough punishment for now!

I've completely lost track of the last time I've posted. I refuse to Twitter-- too much time already eaten up by FaceBook, and I've ignored MySpace for almost a year again, and then the miscellany board, forum, and group .... and then, there's reality. The museum, the drama, the stuff I love like field research, and digging through archaic cabinets and files for reference materials.... But alas there are also personalities, power-plays and alot of paranoid and 'uninformed' individuals in positions of power (due to underhanded means)whose main purpose seems to be to drag others to be as miserable as they. In particular, during an election last year for directors to sit on the board at the museum, one especially spiteful and unpleasant lady literally bribed people to show up at the meeting, pay for a membership in the historical society THAT NIGHT, in order to vote for her-- and then they of course are never to be seen again. No kidding. HOWEVER-- life goes on, well, despite people like that.
Went to Chiller Sat night with Dave and Alycia-- hung out with William Forsyth(e?) again, like last year, had a pretty good time. Dave leaves for a week's vacation in Mexico with Jerry next Saturday, Richard leaving for Vancouver today-- with Amelia, I think, to visit Linus for the weekend, back on Sunday. I have an article to write for WNJ at the request of Mark....or is it Mark? And spring cleaning must start....today. Excited about painting, too, as I have some new colors!! And subjects, and patrons!! Meanwhile, animals are all well, Dad is great, I need a car and want to go walking-- and Peter Steele is in North Jersey tonight-- but I really don't feel like going.
Enough for now. 10 am and I want to go back to bed!!

okay, yeh, I haven't been posting. And here it is, Richard's 67th-- yay-- so I mightaswell pop in and write another installment in the saga that it my life....Wow-- a year ago and we had our chimney rebuilt, beginning the mortgage company/insurance check wrestling match. Glad that ordeal is long gone now. Funny what ya remember. And April 1 is coming up, too, while I am in a mood to remember.
Been having alot of fun lately, on 'Adventures with Dave'-- mainly tracking down some neat local history and digging up artifacts. We're launching a backyard archeology 'club', giving us all an excuse to trapse through mud and dig in the muck. Monday we trekked to one of the old steamboat landings, and while the docks have been gone for decades, we managed to uncover the original roadbed, 'paved' with old clam shells. A week earlier we grabbed some great finds on the old cider mill property-- including some early or mid 19th century crockery pieces. How sad, the things that get us excited these days.
We start filming with TV14 next week, that local cable TV show I mentioned-- or was that on Facebook? I have been writing the script, and the engineer and camera guys have been most complimentary of my work, which is nice. Meanwhile sales have gone from slow to brisk and back again on all my eBay accounts.
Having no car sucks majorly, and still dealing with only one eye. And the lottery still eludes me. Miss flea markets, and my walks, but plenty of plus sides to things. Getting work done around the house, and got back into my writing. Got a letter from Richard a week or two ago, and he mentioned, among other things, an upcoming interview with Dangerous Ink, a lowbrow art mag outta the UK. He was very excited about it, and I have since gotten a copy of it. Apparently the interview went very well, and they want to see some of my work, for Richard's issue. I've been a slug, and haven't finished anything new. Maybe tomorrow?
Dang, I need some wheels soon! Few things worse than having to bum a ride from friends or family whenever I need to hit the store, or anything for that matter. My time schedule seems to be at odds with everyone else's!
I LOVE my Netflix account. I love my cats-- turtles and birds, too, for that matter. And my house!! I like hearing that my house is like a museum, except you can play with everything. Yeh, it's really messy, and crowded, and definitely scares people. And I seem to be rambling....
ZOUNDS it's nearly tomorrow. Amd tomorrow is another day...

Yeh, yeh, it's been forever since I've posted here. It's not that I don't have a thing to write about-- to the contrary, I've had so much of a life lately that I haven't had time to write about it. Gad, is this me?

Got too involved on FaceBook, mebbe. And my FaceBookery is notoriously lightweight next to 99% of the other folks there! Sheesh, when was I last here? Drama at the museum continues to an even greater extent than in the past, I've been a slug regarding eBay biz-- but the paintings are still selling. Have spent alot of time with Dave, going places, working, getting things accomplished as well as goofing off. I have been appointed by the mayor to the Old Brudge Historical Perservation Commission, and Richard will be back in the UK this month. My sister's first book, Dark Paradise, has been e-published and she has a contract or two in the works with some hardcover print publishers. Dave and I are working on programming for local cable TV station, after we were approached to produce a series of shows. I have not had a car since Thanksgiving, and I have rediscovered my interest in unsolved murders, Jack the Ripper, and rekindled a passion for Vincent Cassel. ACK!! A FRENCHIE!

Had a rotten windstorm here a few days ago, but that's been my only gripe for the winter and it's been great otherwise with snow. Too many days the temps have been TOO warm, though. No damage from the widstorm, thank goodness!Got a dozen roses this week from my dear sweet Kurt, out in California. He is one of my art patrons and a wonderful person! Dad's doing well, still working and all. I'm getting back into writing, and have been losing weight.

Michelle is in Spain until June, Mimi is on her way back from NZ/OZ even as I write this, and outside of a headcold 2 weeks ago, I'm doing just fine, sittin' at my easel with a Netflix account for company.

Okay, so much for an obligatory LJ 'check in'-- it's gonna take me several weeks to catch up with all the posts on my friends' page!!

Don't get excited-- or as the bald Muse tells me--
'Don't get your knickers in a twist!' it's not all that earth shattering. Short form-- the Board of the Madison Twp. Historical Society, it's membership and all, have approved me for a paid position at the museum. They applied for a grant, got one (1/4 of what was requested) and from that will be able to afford my services maybe a day a week at the museum for the next years. Hey, it's a start! I do spend alot of time there, so yeh, it's good.
Life update: I have been doing so well on eBay....that I've sloughed off a week or so-- bad me! Today WAS to be listing day but I have some lovely new internet-yanked images to paint from and so will be painting and sketching in a bit. Some neat ideas I want to capture, as well. I have not listed any art in a month!! Thinking of getting a gallery on Yessy or ArtByUs and intend to show at the Apple Festival again this year. I have gotten fat and lazy-- when I have a few days that garner a few hundred $$ I get the notion 'why rush?' like I can do this all the time....
The museum and Hist. Society are really hopping lately-- mainly the museum-- and while a little chunk of the Rocky world will be at the annual picnic at Oakley Court with perhaps a certain Mr. O'Brien on Sunday, I will be manning the museum yet again. There are some terrific events slated this year-- organized by some terrific people (especially Alycia who is really kickin' ass for the Speedway weekend) Check out the site for more info:
http://www.thomas-warne-museum.com/
Of particular interest to those who can tune us in on-line, is the updated War of the Worlds live broadcast that we'll be doing in October. I have hinted to Richard that he should join us, with the assurance he will not be zapped with any Martian death rays. Anyway, no matter where you are, you'll be able to listen to us making screaming fools of ourselves LIVE as the Martians land in Old Bridge...Exactly WHY the Martians would pick Old Bridge is another matter....
The Perils of Rental Hell and Jackie's landing are behind us now. She has at last moved into her apartment-- after much agony and delay. It was a nightmare, and should be forgotten in the hopes all things are now on the upward climb.
And I will be getting some mail from the UK within the next week, I betcha.
The AC con is just a few weeks away....SalonCon the week before. SEPTEMBER LOOMS and it looks fantastic! Got my new Dark City DVD and it is yummy-- extra footage of Mr. Hand, and a blurb or two of interview in one of the special features. Really, ALL the extra stuff is GREAT-- but DO NOT listen to any of the commentaries unless you suffer from insomnia or plan to commit suicide, because they are mind numbing and no fun at all..... Also saw Hairspray (the movie) for the first dozen times, AND the Triplets of Belleview!! I LOVE IT! Bought the DVD as I had missed it in theatres and always wanted to see it. It's fantastic!!! I think I will make the suggestion to RoB that an animated RH remake-- under his direction and by the same animators that did Triplets-- would be quite a glorious endeavor. After all, Fox doesn't own animation rights. If you've never seen the Triplets of Belleview-- SEE IT!
That's enough for now. Must go have fun!

I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm sorry, what were you saying?
Random verbal spackling here, having downed a slice of lemon meringue pie which 1) I knew I shouldn't have had and B) especially so late in the evening, and red) I don't care, it was good! espeially with a cup of cold milk.

Had a delightful Saturday among like-minded 'special' types, attending the NY Ren Fair with David, and others in Victorian clothes. Yes. We did a Time Travel picnic and here is proof. Except the Ren Fair Folkes are not to be seen, how odd. Photo taken within MOMENTS of the sky opening up and hurling on us as we made our seperate ways to the parking lots.




Really quite lovely folk, all. Griffin-- all of 15 years old. bound to break hearts to hear Dave tell it-- and he should know-- and Griffin's mom Rochelle, what a doll! Amey and friend, and others met briefly such as Tony, Max, Angel and then the irrepressible likes of Evelyn and Geoff. After departing we 4 (David, me, Ev and GD) ended our day with a pleasant meal in a local diner... and stayed til after closing which isn't as impressive as it sounds...they close around 9.

Friday, the day before, I had a very nice 'family time' lunch when my sister and her husband came to take Dad and I to a seperate but similar sort of local diner. I usually find myself busy elsewhere-- or even make myself busy elsewhere, when such occasions pop up. But this time went along and had a marvelous chat with Carolyn, about her writings, novels, etc. And I have been so neglectful of my art lately-- and desperately want to get back to writing. I think I shall. I was mildly disappointed that the afore named GD has not read a chapter of my work in progress, emailed to him some weeks ago. (Ev? Geoff? are you reading this? well, it's alright. It's true, you know.)I have read some of GD's work as appearing in a small press publication The Willows, in serial form. I would recommend this publication to those with an appreciation of the arcane/weird tales sort of genre-- and to Devin I would highly recommend snagging a copy and submitting a piece or two. As long as the genre is familiar-- and I tend to think YES in your case, D., you might enjoy some further publish-ment. And I don't care if it's not a word, dammit-- this is MY journal and I shall say what I bloody well please, as I bloody well please to!

Back to my moment of disappointment. It has passed, and on Saturday I did tell GD he was absolved from reading it, which caused him great relief. He had attempted to, he said-- but was distracted. Well, if it was so bad as to be distracted from, uninterested in or bored by, even that much of a comment would have been appreciated. We are all distracted, or quite frankly have better things to do at any given time-- or imagine we do, at any rate. But in the same light, it must be remembered that we cannot solicit attention to our own writings, without possibly encountering the same reasoning that a potential public is just too busy to read what we have produced. It is no great matter of career, just disappointment likely in my own judgment of people. I am published and read-- the most regular bits routinely appearing in Weird NJ magazine. I know I am a damned fine writer, too. And I hope that all my talented writing compatriots feel the same about their work, as well.

Speaking of writing--- YES!! Richard's previous letter to me last month included the Ellory book "A Quiet Belief in Angels" and I have since devoured it-- FABULOUS!! I understand why he loved it so much-- the writer's command of prose was wonderful, though a metaphor or two became a bit overdone. (note to self, try not to compare a heart with a fist in one's chest too many times, if at all) And when I reached those pages that he had read to me, over the phone...yeh, yeh, I heard him narrating again in my head. If you can get your mitts on this book READ IT!!

Today I sold a Victorian petticoat on eBay for $217.50. Unheard of. Yes, it had a very pretty lace trim, and when I first listed it, I dared put a Buy It Now price of $75 on it. The first bidder ended uo being the winner and I bet they wished they'd jumped on the Buy It Now. I have been digging up (literally) tons of old Victorian vintage and selling it like mad, and just sold in the last week 3 pieces going off to a woman in the UK. Including a 1940s wedding gown picked up for $5 at a flea market a few months back. I had absolutely NO PLACE to store it and it's been in the back of my car! So I tossed it up for $40 BIN and it sold within 2 hours.

For the next 3 days I will be sitting at the museum, talking to Danny the cockatoo, playing and working on eBay, picking my toes and watching the telly as Dave mans the tent and table at the county fair. I helped out there last year-- this year I'm staying inside! QUEERSPIRIT is now on THURSDAY NIGHTS 8-10 EST on WRSU 88.7 or something like that FM, for those who want to hear Dave and Wayne. And even for those who don't.

Enough silly prattle. On to more serious endeavors! I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, and I'm getting Dark City this week, too!!

That is 'hell' and not 'hall'. Not sure how much I have recorded here about the Horrid-Amazing adventures of the last week. Well, short version-- Jackie, moving here from Missouri, was greeted with an unliveable rental property-- No certificate of occupancy, floorboards rotted through, broken windows, etc. Confined to hotel living with 4 pets for the last 2 weeks. She and I have been on the road every day looking for suitable pet friendly housing-- and after a week we finally found it. Can't tell you how many places we visited, checked out, called, or how many miles driven-- But we found a place at an apt complex in South River which is exactly what she's looking for. Already signed lease, and waiting for the apt. folks to finish 'readying' it-- cleaning, etc. YAY!!! It was really very fatiguing, and yet at night I couldn't sleep well, between the heat and not being able to turn off my brain.

Richard has admonished me-- "Don't get your knickers in a twist". As folks may know he's doing the 'Dead Strange' summer TV show, and for 30 days (now less!) you can watch episode #1 on line. Anyway, he's been "Busy, lazy, dopey, etc, so no change there." This follows my voiced concern on (imagined) health issues, and a rather late delivery of a June letter written, 'but I never posted the damn thing!' He has kindly sent Ellory's "A Quiet Belief in Angels" which for some reason I could not find available in the US. Have only just started reading it but yes, it's rather excellent prose.

As for August 2nd-- I'm excited to report Dave, Jackie and I will be joining other like-minded folksies at the NY Ren Faire, for a Time Travel picnic, in celebration of birthdays and steampunk and all that! Jackie's b-day turns out to be August 1. We will be attending as Victorian explorers/time travellers. Always a joy to wear period clothing (ooooooo wool) in 90+ temps. Following week-- the Middlesex County Fair-- this year, I have decided to mind the air conditioned museum while the curator and volunteers man the table at the fair. (I worked the fair last year, that was quite enough!)

Today-- after catering to the needs of my turtles, birds, and cats, I will relax in AC comfort, on the road again. Jackie wants to see New Hope and a few other local (local to the east coast!)spots, and I can handle that as long as no house/apt. hunting is involved. I want a long walk to get back into the exercise thing. Oh! And a necessary stop to the PO. La! Should be happy ours is only a heat wave here and not wildfires like California.

"Stay well, Stay happy, Stay Cool"

and to quote Oscar Wilde-- "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

July is almost history-- well, half way. The days just seem to go faster and faster, but they say that comes with age. A year feels like forever when you're 4, because-- well, it's a quarter of your life. By the time you hit 20 it's much less. We don't actually measure it, but I guess psychologically we are aware of it. Or, since time is an illusion, and the older we get the busier we become-- and how much of my precious dwindling time did I just waste recounting that??

A few days ago, I dropped a note to a long time friend of mine-- Greg, who I haven't heard from in a few years, He has a website for his work, http://www.geppettoproductions.com/ Years ago I got him interested in historical reenacting and costuming. He discovered a love for tailoring and from there he went to Broadway and then moved to California to work in TV and movies. Now he works for Sideshow Collectibles. Usually he'd come east for Christmas with the family, or in the spring. And he'd call and we'd get together. Well, not having heard from him in awhile, I wrote him a letter over a year ago and left messages on his phone. Finally, I wrote via his website and just asked, 'what happened?', Well, this morning I found a reply. He spared no effort to tell me why he no longer wanted to be friends. (almost 30 years and ya hafta wonder what happened, after all.) Now, the Greg I remember was always fun, great sense of humor, down to earth, but this was like getting mail from a zombie....

He brought up a few incidents that apparently turned him off to me. Things that happened 10 years ago, and he let fester into a resentment. And they were never even mentioned at the time! Such as my 'spewing venom' about an ex-beau. Yeh, I was going through a particularly bad break up, and venting about Ken-- who by the way now lives out of state and visits whenever he's on NJ, and calls sometimes. Has no one else ever 'spewed venom' after a break up? Ken and I are on very friendly terms, but Greg finds it unforgivable that I was so selfish and ungrateful. WTF?? "He bought you a cell phone and a car!" Uh, no he didn't, Greg. He co-signed for the car, I made all the payments... and the cellphone-- my Valentine's Day gift, was his old one, because he bought a new one that day and they wouldn't take it as a trade in. Apparently, you forgot that, Greg. Yes, Ken gave me many things-- none of which I wanted or asked for, but some people find it easier to give gifts than time. Greg also claimed I have been hitting him up for money. ????? WHEN?? We haven't communicated in 4+ years. No, I have discussed my depression over finances in the way way past, and he admits he took that as a broad hint. EXCUSE ME?? I thought you talked to friends about the bad as well as the good. Still, he didn't mention a word of it before. Are other people like that? Storing things for future use? It gave me shivers. And not the good kind!

Then he went on about how I have squandered every chance I ever had to 'make something of myself'! How I 'ignored his years of advice' that you have to work hard, at thankless jobs, and long hours befoe you have the right to enjoy life. Oh yeh, Greg-- I never had 70+ hour a week jobs, or worked in a medical office where I got to be friends with AIDs patients and watch them slowly die. Or worked for the government, or pass the exams and the security clearance for the police department. I guess I've never had a real job at all. And since I never wanted to make any of those 'jobs' my career, I'd leave after 5 or 6 years for whatever I felt was a better path at the time. The point was, I told him I wanted to work for myself, and pursue my art. Apparently, you have to suffer for years before you are happy. Which suddenly opened my eyes to why Greg seemed like a zombie. He's following his own advice, and he's miserable. He bought a house, got a mortgage and yet knows his job could end at any time. He's never married, and always complained about life in California and the people he met and worked with. Now maybe it's taken a toll-- the humor has gone from his life-- but I am just guessing here. Why he couldn't mention my 'offenses' when they happened, or even answer my letter or phone calls is still a mystery. But I'm actually glad to know he's alive at least, and while I will likely never see or hear from him again, it's all good. I'm doing what I want to do now, I'm happy, and that is all I wish for anyone. I will always cherish the memories, look at the photos from time to time, and wish him well. We all find happiness in our own way, no matter how strange it seems to the rest of the world, and I hope Greg's finding his. But he was a major part of my life for the longest time, and I will miss him. Maybe I should be sad, but it's really okay.

MEANWHILE, back at the ranch....